2016. You Were Joyful.

I'm sitting in a Starbucks in Istanbul on this cold day, just a few days before Christmas and under 48 hours from when I get to hug my family tight.

I've been sipping on my Earl Grey tea in a quintessential Red Cup (I actually had to look quintessential up in a dictionary to make sure I was using it right. Score!). I've been reading An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, and trying to stay quiet while I laughed and tears streamed down my face. I've never read a tale about hog hunting that made me tickled quite that much before.

It's nice to have a relaxing day to read and think. And I've been thinking about 2016.

At the start of the year, I made a little 'brochure'-style leaflet for myself. I wrote in it many of the hopes and dreams that I had for this year, and things that I felt that I wanted to accomplish. I made places to record my favorite memories. And I chose my word for this year.

Joy. 

Although I hadn't experienced personally many hardships leading up to January 2016, I had a lot of friends who had. I had met a lot of people who had been forced to flee their homes in Syria, and I knew that life was more about surviving and healing for them than it was about being "happy." Because, sometimes "happy" just isn't possible.

And sometimes, that is okay,

I've found myself in the past always searching for ways to be happy, and trying to plan my life accordingly. Because, let's be honest, my life has been very privileged. I haven't lived among a world crisis, I haven't faced starvation and poverty, and the only thing that has really kept me up at night before has been studying for exams at a university that many people would love to be able to attend.

In all of this privilege, I put "happy" up on a pedestal in my life, something to strive for. "Do what makes you happy," so many people say.

But then I realized that many people in the world don't and will never have that option. They may have tiny moments of happiness, but most of life is going to be filled with grief and fighting to exist. Is that truly life? I can't say to them, "Do what makes you happy." That isn't possible. That isn't a choice for them. Then why is it something I am told to strive for in our privileged society? Why is that the epicenter of existence?

So, at the beginning of 2016, I chose instead to focus on having joy. Because in my reading of the Bible, I found that God didn't tell me that HE was going to give me happiness. Instead, God tells me that HE will give me joy. And that is much greater.

Joy is having a heart full of love, no matter what is going on around you. It isn't circumstantial. It is a state of existing in the Truth. In trusting that the God Who holds the world in HIS hands is also holding you in HIS hands, and HE's not about to let go. That the One Who matters the most loves you with a love that can never be quantified.

Joy is something that anyone can have. It doesn't matter if you don't have access to wealth, education, and extra things like Starbucks and going to Disneyland or traveling the world. Happiness can be bought. Joy can't.

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while."  1 Peter 1:6

I wrote this verse in my little leaflet, and stuck this reminder of my dreams for 2016 into my planner. I've been looking over it the past few days, checking off the boxes that I did accomplish, and writing down memories for how I did them.

2016 did contain a lot of happy moments. Like walking across the Tower Bridge in London with my family on a chilly June morning. And singing Robert Burns poems together with friends at a late-night party. And playing board games with my roommates after dinner.

But it also contained a lot of sad moments. Like when one of my very close friends, a woman who has been like a grandmother to my family, died this past August. Like when I stood by her hospital bed on the same day that I was flying back to Istanbul, watching her experience pain and knowing that I wasn't going to see her again in this world. And the moments when I experienced conflict with friends, and had to live in that sorrow until we experienced reconciliation through Jesus' grace. Or when I grieved with both my home nation and my resident nation as tragedy and horrors occurred to innocents in our land.

I was reminded that I won't always be happy. And in these moments of experiencing death and strife and tragedy, it wouldn't be right to be happy. Instead, I was reminded that in all of these moments, I do have joy. Joy in Christ. Joy that HE is working in all and through all. Joy that HE loves me more than I will ever know. Joy that HE walks with me through the happy moments and through the dark valleys.

May 2017 be filled with true joy for you. Here's to living in truth and love together.

- Your Faithful Nomad