K ROVER Explores the World

Introduction

He felt disappointed, dejected, and tinier than an ant. All this training, and now for nothing.

They had started out with boot camp to get ready for the rough terrain. I mean, hiking Mars wasn't something to take lightly. There's no water, for gosh sake. After working out in the dry, rocky terrain of the simulation gym, they had been allowed to take a break from the grueling, back-breaking labor of boot camp and take a photography class, just to make sure that they reported back high-quality data. He was like, yeah right, you really expect me to go all the way there and then not take amazing pictures? But he wasn't complaining; his photography teacher was way more fun than his boot camp instructor. She took them on cool field trips to the park, during which he just happened to snap more pictures of her than of any flowers, trees, or footprints. When she ran through his film, he told her that he really hoped there would be beautiful specimen like her on Mars. She just smiled. He got an A.

After photography class came to an end, they were sent back in for landing training, which made him sick to his stomach, but there was an expected level of discomfort with space travel. "You will only have to do this once in the real deal," he kept telling himself as they practiced the rocky, terrifying act again and again.

After all this training, you would expect them to deploy him right away. But no. He hadn't realized that there was the possibility that they would demote him to a lower-level mission. But they did. And that was why he was here, right now, instead of leaving this planet for good.

"We have a special mission for you," they had said. "We need someone to stay here on earth and gather more data about everyday living. You will need to travel all over the planet, experience as many different cultures as possible, tour as many sites as possible, and report back data every day. It's an important job." He thought that he might be more convinced if they hadn't felt the need to use words like 'special' and 'important' so often. But, whatever. He was created to fulfill his mission, and by golly he was going to do a good job of it. Even if it meant staying on earth. At least it would mean more photography with less-crazy landing and hiking. And hey, at least there was guaranteed normal life-forms on earth and no possibility of some crazy, robot-eating monsters to deal with. Or so he thought.

Follow K ROVER's exploit through pictures by following "k_rover_explores_the_world" on Instagram.

Chapter 1 

They started off by sending him to Washington DC. He was expecting to find a somewhat decent climate in the good 'ole Northeast, but it was hot and humid. At least, every other minute, when it wasn't pouring down rain. He really wished that those genius engineers at NASA could have thought of equipping him with something useful, such as a pop-out umbrella. But he'd watched enough of Big Bang Theory to know not to expect much from them.

K ROVER decided to start out his exploration of Washington DC in a familiar area - the Air and Space Museum. He had to at least drop by and say 'hi' to his distant cousins, who weren't very mobile anymore and really appreciated visits now and then, so he had heard. He was totally unprepared for the crazy chaos that the museum had to offer. Kids were running around everywhere, jumping up and down, squeezing their faces against the glass and standing on their tiptoes to see as much of the exhibits as possible. Some were even climbing into the exhibits to touch the planes and spacecraft! On his roll around of the museum, he ran into a few civilians who were pretty psyched to see him; he even gave out a few 'autographs', which involved rolling over their museum maps with his muddy tires. 

Man, this was the place to be, the Hollywood of all air and spacecraft. Maybe he would have to retire here...he would make a note of this in his daily log. A pleasant life of sitting back, relaxing, and people-watching; what a beautiful picture of old age that would be.

K ROVER did get a chance to sit and chat with his cousin, the Voyager Lander, for a bit. But she seemed a little distracted. Posing for so many pictures seemed to be a lot of work, especially during the summer when the museum had extended hours. They did talk a bit about the disappointment of not getting to see Mars and live the Space Dream. "K ROVER, what I've discovered is that life on earth may actually be nicer than flying out to a distant planet, taking a few pictures, and then dying of old age all by yourself up there. I've learned that it is worth it to stay here, close to family." Maybe Voyager Lander was right. But it was going to take some pretty extraordinary earth explorations for him to feel like staying on the humans' planet was worth it. 

Chapter 2

While rolling around the vicinity of DC, K ROVER noticed that groups of humans of all ages seemed to like congregating together...in coffee shops. Why is that? The people brought laptops, books, dogs (if there was outdoor seating), and all just sat around with these warm, steaming cups in their hands as though it was some kind of weird, silent party. Except for the random cases where people were singing unintelligible songs and strumming old guitars as 'live entertainment'. He decided to try out the seemingly popular trend, but it didn't work out so well. For one, it took him a good 30 minutes to get over the menu. Latte, mocha, Americano, macchiato, cappuccino...what did all this mean? Everyone seemed to understand what each of these crazily-similar-but-somehow-strangely-different drinks were, but he felt as though he'd stepped into a cult society where everyone spoke a secret language. Once he decided to wing-it and order a random drink, he noticed that some people were adding things to their drinks. Should he add cinnamon? or sugar? or chocolate powder? or a splash of skim milk? He had no idea. Then, he thought about trying to squeeze onto one of the soft-looking couches in a corner of the shop, but there seemed to be an unspoken rule about personal space, as everyone was very spread out with what seemed to be a 2-foot bubble. In the end, he rolled up to a small table to finish his latte with half-and-half, sugar, and chocolate powder on top. At the conclusion of his exploit, he wrote in his travel log that the humans must take special classes in elementary school to prepare them for this daily ritual. How else could he explain the crazy phenomenon of the coffee shop?